


Care and Carelessness

by TheRainbowFox



Series: Thirteenth Doctor Prompts [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Loss, Major Character Injury, Near Death Experiences, Sacrifice, Self-Sacrifice, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 11:22:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18497938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRainbowFox/pseuds/TheRainbowFox
Summary: A peaceful day out, that was what the Doctor wanted for her companions. But trouble is never far behind. How much will they lose?





	Care and Carelessness

**Author's Note:**

> Right. So. I’m gonna start by saying;  
> DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU CANT HANDLE THE ANGST
> 
> This idea came to mind when I was kind of in a bad place  
> And writing it today made me almost cry  
> This is also the second shortest thing I’ve written, and I may edit it later because I’m posting from mobile because I’m unable to wait any longer
> 
> Anyway, this is a prompt from the Thirteenth Doctor Fanzine over on tumblr and twitter  
> The prompt being ‘I Have a Duty of Care’
> 
> My gut reaction will, in this current dynamic, not remind me of Twelve  
> But instead Yaz  
> And this is my take on that poignant moment

I Have a Duty of Care

 

“I’ll only ask this one more time.  ONE MORE TIME.  Let. Them. Go. It’s me you’re after, and I’m right here ! And if you don’t let them go, then I will rain  absolute  hell on you from all corners of the universe.  I will end you in the same way I ended the Time War. I will end you the same way I end the Daleks, or the Cybermen, or any other threat to the universe.  One little thing the stories about me always fail to mention, something actually quite important , I think …I do not suffer fools lightly, and in the history of time, there has been nobody to stop me.  Not. A. Soul.  These people are under my protection, I have a duty of care towards them, and you will not stand in my way.  Not you, not anyone else.  So please, put the guns down.  For your own safety. Last chance.  Final, final warning.”

 

“Doctor…”

 

“Yaz, it’s okay, I promise, just g-”

 

“I know. I know it’s okay. But the thing is Doctor, you’re forgetting something.”

 

“What?”

 

“I have a duty of care too.”

 

The once tense atmosphere shattered, and Yaz was unsure what came first; the sound of the Doctor screaming her name, or the  sound of a laser .

* * *

 

“Doc! Is…is she…? ”

 

“Graham, get to the TARDIS. Set up the med-bay. Ryan, help me carry her. We don’t have a lot of time.”

 

Warm blood coated her pale hands as she lifted her companion into her arms, a stray tear rolling down her cheek , the smell of burning flesh clinging thickly to the air .

* * *

 

They settled Yaz down in the cot, her once warm  brown  skin losing its colour. Ryan and Graham lingered on the side-lines, unsure of what to do as the Doctor frantically set up cables and drips and monitors everywhere. The image of the event was still fresh in their minds. Yaz had escaped the hold on her, wrestling her captor to the ground in a contest for the weapon. But in her haste, the laser had gone off. The Doctor had screamed, Ryan and Graham ducked down as her sonic set off the other lasers, exploding them in  the other humanoid’s grips.

 

“Yaz. Stay with me. Please. Please stay with me.”

 

The Doctor mumbled to herself as she worked, eyes staring longingly at the monitor in front of her. The TARDIS let out a low whine, dimming the bright white lights. A large bandage wrapped around the young officer’s chest, spotted heavily with since dried blood, covering the wound and secondary burns and shielding the rest of her companions from the horrific injury.  The Time Lord’s h ead turned towards Ryan and Graham, trying desperately to look calm and in control. And failing.

 

“I’ve hooked her up to all the systems we have, and the TARDIS is tracking down a specialist facility. You two…go rest. There’s not a lot to do besides wait. I’ll let you know if anything happens. I’m sorry. I’m _so_ sorry.”

Both men gave a small nod, Ryan desperately trying to hide a yawn. Whenever the stress got too much, he always felt like crashing out somewhere. And crying was hard.

 

“Alright Doc. Just…just promise us you’ll get some rest too.”

 

“Yeah, Yaz…Yaz wouldn’t…she wouldn’t want you to worry.”

* * *

 

‘ _There_ _is_ _something_ _you_ _can_ _do_ _to_ _fix_ _this_.’

 

“But…Yaz wouldn’t want that. I don’t want that. If I do…then…then I’ll change again. You know I will. Look what happened when Rose looked into your heart. All that energy I had to take. Or River. She hated me for what I did. I can’t. Not again. ”

 

‘ _You_ _don’t_ _know_ _what_ _will_ _happen_ , _but_ I _do_. I _always_ _have_ _done_.’

 

“Yeah? Look where that’s got me. How many people have I lost? And you did nothing to help me. Nothing! And now…and now she’s…now Yaz is…”

 

‘ _She_ _has_ _little_ _time_ _left_ _in_ _this_ world, _if_ _you_ _leave_ _her_. _Trust_ _me_ , _Doctor_.’

 

“I do…I always do. But that doesn’t stop me being scared. What do I tell her? What do I tell Ryan and Graham? I’m crossing an unspoken boundary here and I’m so scared. But I’m more scared of losing her. I can’t lose her. I’m not losing another person that I l-…care about.”

 

Tears streamed down the Doctor’s face, eyes red and cheeks burning. She had been engaged in a heated conversation with the TARDIS for half an hour, eyes permanently glued to the vital signs monitor. Yaz was fading, despite her best efforts. The laser had torn through several ribs,  muscles,  and perforated a lung. She was holding on with the help of breathing apparatus, but it was still not enough. No matter what the Time Lord did, it was not enough.

 

But she had a solution. She always had a solution. It was there, in her fingertips, in her blood, in her very being. She could fix things. Her hearts ached, head pounding, mind racing.

 

“Bring the boys here, please. They need to know.”

 

‘ _Will_ _you_ _do_ _it_? _Are_ _you_ _going_ _to_ _risk_ _everything_ _for_ _this_ … _for_ _Yasmin_ _Khan_?’

 

“The laws of time are mine. And her time is not up. Not yet.”

* * *

 

She explained everything.

 

Yaz was dying, but she could still be saved. As the only other people on the TARDIS who had any connection to her, the Doctor gave them the choice. Ryan and Graham had the power to say whether or not it was in the best interest of their friend. The choice was painful. She knew this.

 

“But…Grace…”

 

She knew it was coming. How could she save Yaz and not save Grace?

 

“Fixed point in time. Saving her would have torn the universe apart. I know, I’ve seen it happen. I took someone back to see their father, the day he died. She saved him. People died. I died. My TARDIS was lost. Only his death could restore everything. But he died in her arms, she said goodbye, finally knew who he was. You were there when she died. If I went back, we would cross over ourselves, create a paradox. And you can’t stop those when they start.”

 

The Doctor could save Yaz because her time was not due. The TARDIS had scoured across space and time, saw her path branch off twice into the unknown. Deciding what happened next was part of her timeline. They had hope.

 

“Doctor, I saw you glowing. Before. When you crashed on our sofa. That’s what can save Yaz?”

 

Her regeneration energy could be syphoned off, passed over to Yaz, help heal the damage she had taken. However, it ran the risk of them all losing the Doctor in her place. At least, the one they saw now.

 

“Depending on how much energy I give…you may not see me anymore. I’ll change. Again. I’ll burn up and be born anew. But that is a chance I am willing to take. Yaz did not deserve this, and I’ll be damned if she loses herself because of it. I’m sorry. ”

 

Wiping the tears from her eyes, the Doctor walked over to the cot her companion lay in. She shifted stray hairs from her closed eyes, fingers trailing down a cold cheek. For a moment, Yaz would die. Her lungs would stop taking in air, causing her heart to stop, brain to shut down. The mask was removed from her face as the monitors fell silent, and the TARDIS dimmed the lights further. Ryan and Graham held each other tight, hands on each other’s shoulders, tears silently falling to the ground.

 

They trusted the Doctor.

 

Coat fell to the ground, sleeves pushed up, hair tugged back. With both hands on Yaz’s cheeks, she bent down, briefly stopping by her ear.

 

“Yaz…if you can hear me, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. You deserve better.”

 

Eyes closed as she repositioned herself, hovering over the young officers face. She lowered herself, lips meeting Yaz’s own, her body burning as it set alight with golden swirls.

* * *

 

Dark. Cold. Alone.

 

There was nothing in sight. No pain. No feeling.

 

Muffled voices were all she had. But she could not understand them, or make out who they were. They were just there. Out of reach.

 

Then, there was light. Blinding and golden and warm. Pulling her forward. Urging her closer.

 

A familiar scream. A gunshot. 

 

Life.

* * *

 

“DOCTOR!”

 

Her cry pierced the gentle hum of the white room, eyes slowly coming around to the light. Yaz searched the area frantically, seeing nothing but medical equipment around her. Her heart was hammering a million miles a minute, breath coming out short and fast as panic settled. She looked down to her arm, noticing the wires and tubes connected to her, finally feeling the thick monitor pads on her skin. Bandages covered the majority of her chest, her legs covered in plain grey trousers.

 

Suddenly, a blue light appeared above her, beaming down an image she thankfully recognised.

 

“Yaz. If you’re seeing this then…well, you made it. Just like I knew you would. But, if you are seeing this, then that means I didn’t. Don’t panic, I want you to stay calm and listen to me. You can do that.”

 

The projection talked to her slowly, voice crackling every few seconds. It told her how to remove the monitors she was attached to, how to disconnect from the support systems and the drips. Once Yaz freed herself, she turned back to the image of the Doctor.

 

“The TARDIS will alert the boys when you’re ready, just tell her. Until then…you’re probably wondering why you’re in a strange room, hooked up to a thousand things, confused and scared. It’s okay.”

 

“Doctor, where are you? What happened?”

 

“If you’re asking about what happened…well…Yaz, there’s no easy way for me to tell you this. And I wish I was there to tell you in person, and keep you close. You died. I saved you. But it cost me dearly.”

 

“What?!”

 

Remaining calm was no longer an option. Yaz jumped out of the cot, quickly grabbing onto the side frame as her legs buckled underneath her and dropped her to the ground. She stared at the projection, vision blurring. Her chest felt like it was on fire, her throat closed up as angry tears fell onto her clenched fists.

 

“The TARDIS will take you to where I am. But I don’t know what you’ll find there. She will keep you safe. If…If I’ve changed…I will be scared. And confused. Like you are now. Be patient with me. You don’t have to stay, I will send you home and do what I always do. Me and the big blue box, through all of time and space. And if…”

 

The projection paused, stuttering and glitching briefly.

 

“If the worst should happen…if I die…then I just want to say one thing to you, Yasmin Khan. When I told you that we couldn’t have a universe without Yaz…I meant it. I couldn’t have MY universe without Yaz. So please, promise me…promise me you’ll carry on. You’ll keep being strong. And brave. And taking care of the world. Do that for me.”

* * *

 

Yaz sat in the dark room, anchoring herself in the cool hand of the Doctor. She could not feel the twin pulses under her fingertips. Her eyes did not move. Her chest did not rise, or fall. She looked serene, peaceful, angelic. The powder blue coat rested in her lap, other hand clinging to it tightly as it muffled her sobs.

“Why, Doctor?”

 

Her words were caught in between gasps of air.

 

“Why d-did you do  th -this?!”

 

The coat fell from her grip as she stood, hands shaking as she let go of the Time Lord’s own and placed it back on her chest.

 

“You’re an idiot, y-you know that? A goddamn IDIOT! I k-knew what I was doing, back there, with those…those… ”

 

She paced around the room, arms wrapping around her waist, trying to crush the pain away. Keep it inside. But she failed.

 

“It’s my job to protect people! MY JOB! Not yours! I came to terms with my mortality a long time ago. Because that’s what you do when you train to be police. And you see the news. And come from a family instantly labelled as terrorists. You prepare for the worst. You realise that your life can end! Whenever! And you sure as hell can’t stop it.”

 

After rounding the room, she returned to the bed where the Doctor lay, glaring daggers.

 

“You should still be here, Doctor ! People need you…the universe needs you…you said so yourself. Countless times. Without meaning to, but you did. Without you, existence will fall, lives will end needlessly. And mine…”

 

Another gasp of air caused her to stumble, hands bracing against the bed as tears fell against the blue striped shirt of the Time Lord.

 

“Mine has ended…I meant what I said too. When I said you were the best person I had ever met. You are. Doctor, my world is ending because you…you’re not…”

 

‘ _You’re_ _no_ _longer_ _in_ _it_.’

 

The realisation kicked in, and Yaz was unable to stop the howl of pain that tore her apart from the inside. She fell into the Time Lord, head on top of her hands, choking out tears. Too lost in her grief, Yaz never heard the gentle ‘whoosh’ of the door sliding open, nor the horrified gasps of her friends. Ryan rushed to her side, taking one look at the Doctor’s body before dropping to his knees. His body fell into Yaz’s own, one fist punching the cold metal floor as enraged tears spilled down his cheeks. Graham took slow, calculated steps, unsure of where to look or what to do. His mourning was quiet, internal, but his heart bled. He stood behind Ryan and Yaz, a hand on either shoulder, rubbing slow circles.

 

“Yaz…I’m…”

 

“She can’t be gone. Don’t tell me she’s gone! Doc…come on man…don’t do this…”

 

Graham eventually knelt down, taking his arms around his grandson and his friends, pulling them into a tight embrace as they both lost themselves to the pain. His tears fell against his jumper, mixing in with the others as he rested his chin on top of Ryan’s head , holding the two youngsters.  The TARDIS hummed softly, comforting yet mournful.

 

However, she was interrupted by a sharp gasp, and three high pitched voices crying out in unison .

 

“ ** _DOCTOR_**?!”


End file.
